Sp's Thoughts :D

Wednesday, March 18, 2009 Y

Studies'Method

No........... I didn't get to study today...

I slept the whole morning in that room
And nothing more.

Gotten off earlier than usual.
Went to find Ruby at causeway point.
Was waiting for Ruby to appear.
2 Yuhua sec girls approach me for donations because I was so unlucky to be standing there.
One wanted me to put in $1 in her can and 5cents for her friend.
But I am fair, 20cents in each can. Lucky I have 40cents of coins left in my wallet.

Met her. Ate. Help her in her present finding for her bf.
Went home after that.

Maybe I will study tomorrow... Or maybe I might land myself in the hospitial.

And the Orange Letter came.
Love is a luxury which I can never afford,
As I'm just a pauper in this world full of Love.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 Y

Studies'Method

Another day of boredom at that place...
Cannot sleep.. No psp...
At least... before 5 i can go...

Pathetic.... Book reading is done and over with.
And for once, today... I did maths.

Yar... In green doing maths...
Integration,
first order differential equations,
At least i can occupy my mind with something.
Numbers...

At least... They dun let u down ?

Tmr for laplace transform or fourier series ?
guess it's up to the mood of my day for tmr to decide.

Headache... Back to my little bottle of liquor...
Solace seeking is getting to be quite costly each time.

And the Orange Letter came.
Love is a luxury which I can never afford,
As I'm just a pauper in this world full of Love.

Saturday, March 14, 2009 Y

Studies'Method

Seriously, I have no idea what is wrong with me.

Perhaps, I am tired, I ran out of energy to continue on this journey.
Everyday repeating the same few task...
Mundane yet compulsory.

What I know from the past 20 plus years of experience is that, guess it's better for me to be alone.

The yearning of wanting to love is ever present yet, my rational self is telling me, i won't manage it and instead, i will be causing pain and misery to the one who love me. I want to love, yet I don't want to hurt whoever is going to be my important one.

Walking all around, looking at my friends who are happily in romance, I told myself, perhaps it's time to give love another chance, perhaps it's time i find love...

But something still holds me back, perhaps a combinations of stuff...
Some day, i wish, i can lose my memories. Yes, I know I'm a coward, I run away from my problems. I do. I don't deny it.

Or perhaps, end my life ?

Time to go for a long walk. I need to unwind myself.
Emotions are somehow becoming the bane of my life.
I'm turning apathetic...

It's alright not to smile, as long as I am not hurting anyone.
As long as I'm not missed, I will just fade away, becoming a piece of memory.
For, if this is what life is meant to be, then i have walk it thru over and over.
Perhaps, time to leave this world ?

And the Orange Letter came.
Love is a luxury which I can never afford,
As I'm just a pauper in this world full of Love.